Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
