So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
