i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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