i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
