I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
