I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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