I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize