How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
