I'm drive I can fine osifer
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
