M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just threw up on my dentist
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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