So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize