If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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