3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This toilet bowl is my home.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
