so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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