I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
