yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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