Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
