Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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