You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
