I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
