im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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