Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
