honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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