Where is the hickey?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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