I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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