Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
