booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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