why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
