wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
