At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
