She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize