I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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