the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
