yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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