So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize