You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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