mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
