we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
