I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
