Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
