dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
