Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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