No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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