i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
