i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
