He is an equal opportunity slut.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
