He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
