I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His hands were made for my vagina.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
is it fun? or sober?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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