The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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