i dedicated my morning wood to you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
