Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize