There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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