I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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