come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
