The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
