You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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