Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
