Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
