no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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