I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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