I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
